The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Well Lovies, back in March I lost what I "thought" was my dream job--through no fault of my own. I felt worthless and defeated and all of the lousy things one feels when fired. But I felt worse because I am waaaaay overweight--beyond what one would call "fat". I am morbidly obese and not alone in this club either. I felt like I was judged by my appearance--felt? Hell I know I was judged. It made me think alot. I got pissed at life...I got tired of feeling like I was being pissed on. My self esteem took such a hit. In that moment of pissousity I made a decision. I was going to have bariatric surgery....one way or another I was going to make it happen. And so it began. I called the surgeon and got the ball rolling. You have to go through 6 months of jumping through hoops before your surgery can even be scheduled. Patience is a virtue dearies. 6 months of nutritional counselling, 2 visits with a psychiatrist 1 just to set the scene and the second to actually do a psychological test! A preop with your family doc and one more with the surgeon! Whew! ha! Not to mention weighing in every other week--can not miss it, needs to be documented. I can not tell you how many times I flew tits to the wind to get weighed because I forgot or was busy! Now I am doing the prep which involves 2 weeks of a liquid protein diet of at least 60 grams of protein a day, drinking 64 ounces of clear liquids (not broth or juices) and weaning myself from my copious amounts of caffeine that I LOVE!!! Popiscles and jell-o as long as its sugar free stuff is ok too! In 5 days I have lost 10 pounds. I am really cold and became dehydrated--yes, that 64 ounces is that IMPORTANT!! Tonight I heated my protein shake in the microwave--it was pretty good and I had hot tea too. So far so good. I won't see "FOOD" again for about a month. Last night I wanted soup, today I want popcorn or crackers. And I am craving veggies beyond what I ever dreamed possible!! I am on day 10 of the count down--my surgery being scheduled for November 13th. Wow the surgery is going to be a wild ride too. 75% 0f my stomach is going to be removed permanently. The process is called the Gastric Sleeve. I will have a picc line i.v., a ball pain pump inserted throughout my abdomen, and 5 to 7 holes (ports) for the surgeon to weave his magic scope throughout. I still can not believe that I have the balls enough to do this! I am scared--but I will die early without this procedure I am sure due to my diabetes. I have a fabulous support system in my family and best friends Mike, Stac, and Mary. My employers are on board too! Full support! So I am ready to move on with this next stage. So I hope to blog about my adventures as the incredible shrinking woman through out the next year. Be forewarned of my tirades when I am hungry or sick or in pain. I am going to keep it real for you. If I can help anyone learn from this, help them to decide to go through baritric surgery and give them comfort, or just lend a smile and a "thank God I am NOT going through that shit" to your day--then this is all well worth it even more!